4. Optimize your profile
In many ways a solid message is just an invitation to for the intended recipient to take a look at your profile and make her judgment based off of that. While there is not necessarily a secret formula to writing a killer profile, there are still a few things that everyone should be able to get off. Here's a few:
- Have four or five solid photos. Enough to give them an accurate, best case version of what you look like, but not so many that you look like a self centered ego maniac.
- Proofread it. This is common sense but you'd be surprised how many profiles there are with spelling errors and you're'/your mistakes. You wouldn't write a job application in such a manner so why write a dating application with such carelessness?
- Don't self deprecate (at least don't go overboard with it). You may not be able to win over a girl at first blush with a great profile, but anything that smells of insecurity can be an instant disqualifier.
- Stand apart. Pick some of the most interesting aspects about yourself, whether it's an adventure you once had, an uncommon interest or a unique hobby and make sure to mention it where appropriate, although I wouldn't necessarily make it the focus of your profile. Just give them enough to want to know more should they choose to follow up your initial message with a reply.
5. Don't get discouraged
Girls are picky. In fact according to another OkCupid study girls rate a pretty incredible 80% of guys as less attractive than average. Yet
Another reason that you shouldn't get easily discouraged is the power of standard deviation . Statistical convergences take time so if among the first 14 girls you write only one responds, don't take it as a sign of the apocalypse. You haven't reached a large enough sample of responses for the mean to become normalized. Then again, if you send out 500 messages and only get 9 responses, then yeah, you're probably doing something wrong.
Scanning my own OkCupid inbox (yes, I practice what I preach) I see that I've sent just over 50 messages out in the past few months. Of those sent items, 16 have received replies. That means I'm getting a response rate of around 30% following the guidelines that I've laid out in this article. Alright, so that's not overwhelming but at least it's above the statistical average. And considering that I'm not exactly Clark Gable in the looks department, I think I'll take it.
Ultimately when it comes down to it, regardless of what your response rate is, my advice is don't pin all your hopes on a single technique, site or method for meeting women. Utilize a balanced approach and remember the most important thing about meeting new people is this: you have to be proactive.
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